Thursday, November 19, 2009

life these days...

Life has taken some twists and turns that I would not have chosen in the past weeks. As many of you know, we lost my father, a healthy and active father, grandfather, husband, and pastor, 2 weeks ago to the H1N1 virus and complications that had set in.

There are no words to describe the "missing him" that I feel...I did not know it was possible to just miss someone like I do. I know all the things that I am supposed to know...he is with Jesus now, his Saviour and friend; God's timing is always the best; we are soon to follow and this life is temporal; ect. Yet there is a hurt, almost a physical ache, to see or talk to him again and no words or thoughts can make that go away.

The most beautiful thing I have witnessed through all of this sorrow...the joy that I have found...the sweet with the bitter... is God's family surrounding us with love and care. It is truly remarkable how people who live very busy lives themselves can squeeze in a few minutes, or hours, or days to ease the load of another. Our freezer has been filled, our table set with meals many times over, our laundry washed and folded, our house cleaned, flowers delivered to our house, muffins on our doorstep, our children loved and cared for. We have been prayed with and for, many cards have been sent, money given for traveling and missed work, and tears have rolled down others' cheeks as I have shared my grief with them. This is God's people at work, being the Body of Christ to us!

I am in wonder and complete humility, and I have prayed daily that my eyes will be opened to needs around me. How sweet to walk these days of sorrow with a friend, just knowing someone cares.

Some days are harder than others, and I have heard that the pain will lessen, but the memories will sweeten. We have the holidays before us and plans to make concerning my sweet mom.

God's arms of comfort have had "skin" on them these past few weeks and our hearts are forever thankful. We are indeed blessed and it is so true that we are filled up in order to be spilled out. And I pray for God's blessing to repay where I can not.

"Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart...there has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." Phil. 1:3 - 6 (The Message)

5 comments:

Robin said...

I am so sorry for your great loss. I too know the pain of losing a much loved father too early and too unexpectedly.
There really aren't any words I could say that would help - it is such a personal journey. But I can tell you that the sun will shine again for you and there will be a day when the horrible ache will mellow out to a comforting place full of your best memories. You are in my prayers.

Mandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mandy said...

Julie,
My family has blanketed yours with so much prayer...and we continue to do so daily.

I love to picture your Dad's smiling, shining eyes and the comforting peace that poured out from within him! I often shared with Krystal what a blessing it always was to spend time with your parents--as one left from that time spent with a spirit of such peace and love that could only come from the Lord.

I pray that your many memories will comfort your heart, especially through this Holiday season. Know that we are upholding all of you--especially your dear Mom--in prayer.

with love,
Mandy

Making Memories 1999 said...

I am so sorry for your loss, and I trust our Father to continue to hold you and your family close during these days!

A FastLane said...

I knew I would cry when I read this post, but I wanted to hear how things were going for you. I am so glad to hear that you were surrounded by so many. I love you Jules...I think of you often and my heart goes out to you.